Understanding Your Pelvic Landscape — and Why It Shapes Your Life

As an embodied relating & intimacy coach, a friend, a daughter, a sister, I have not met one woman who without doing any development work was simply content with the intimate part of her body, every single one had something to hide, to fix or be ashamed of. At some point I asked myself a question: "What the heck is going on?! Okay, I can understand if a few of us felt a little unlucky, but all, every single woman has something wrong there??!!"

And who is benefiting from the situation where the life giving part of our bodies is not treated with care, respect and honour it deserves? This opening may trigger some strong feelings in you. If so - please take care of yourself, e.g. take a few breaths, give your body a shake or express the feeling through sound.

Due to a combination of cultural, religious and economic (marketing) factors, many people feel uncomfortable sensing or even looking at their intimate parts. This discomfort is rarely questioned. It’s often treated as normal or simply avoided. Yet it’s worth asking gently where this reluctance comes from, and what it has taught the body over time.

At the same time, we live in a culture that constantly encourages women to fix their vulvas. Through aesthetic surgery, hygiene products, hair removal, and corrective language, we’re told — subtly and not so subtly — that this part of the body requires improvement, management, or control. Much of this is unnecessary. Some of it interferes with sensitivity and trust. Some practices are simply harmful.

This post is not about technique or diagnosis. It’s about orientation.

Nurturing a respectful attitude to our pelvic space through understanding and practices using different attention, words, and sensations — can change how you move through relationships, work, rest, and intimacy.

More than anatomy

The pelvic area is not just a collection of organs or muscles. It is a meeting point between nervous system, emotion, movement, and instinct. How this area feels — open or guarded, alive or numb, responsive or distant — often reflects how safe the body feels in the world.

When this space is habitually ignored, overridden, or only approached through performance or expectation, people may notice subtle effects:

• difficulty sensing clear yes and no,

• chronic tension or collapse in posture,

• numbness or discomfort around intimacy,

• pushing through rather than listening,

• feeling disconnected from desire or motivation.

These experiences are common, and they are not personal failures.

Sensation as feedback, not judgement

From an embodied perspective, sensation is information. Discomfort, numbness, sensitivity, or ease are signals about pacing, safety, and capacity — not indicators that something is “wrong.”

Many people learned early to tolerate rather than respond. Over time, the body adapts by dampening sensation or holding tension. This is not dysfunction. It is strategy.

When attention returns gently to this area — without pressure to change anything — the body often begins to communicate more clearly. This clarity can feel unfamiliar at first, but it tends to be deeply stabilising.

How this affects everyday life

A more attuned relationship with the pelvic space often shows up far beyond intimacy.

People may notice:

• clearer boundaries in conversation,

• more grounded presence under stress,

• improved posture and breathing,

• greater ease with rest and enjoyment,

• a stronger sense of internal authority.

This is not because the pelvis is “special,” but because it is central to how the body organises safety, movement, and choice.

Closing

You don’t need to fix or optimise this part of your body. You might want to accept it and to know how to listen to it.

When the pelvic space is included in awareness rather than ignored or managed, life often becomes simpler. Decisions feel clearer. Boundaries require less explanation. Presence becomes more available.

This is not about what you “have down there.”It’s about how well you are in relationship with yourself.